Exciting News from Sculpteo: Our Return to Handcrafted Excellence

Posted By Nicolas Mathian on Apr 1, 2025 | 0 comments

At Sculpteo, we’ve always prided ourselves on being at the forefront of innovation and precision in 3D printing. However, after much soul-searching, countless brainstorming sessions, and one remarkably enlightening pottery class, we’ve decided to take a bold new direction. Today, we are thrilled to announce that we are officially renouncing digital manufacturing in favor of traditional manual sculpting!

“3D printing was fun while it lasted,” said Alexandre D’orsetti CEO of Sculpteo, in an impassioned speech at the company’s headquarters. “But after years of perfect layer resolution and optimized production timelines, we’ve realized there’s something missing… the beautiful imperfections of the artisan’s touch.”
Effective immediately, all 3D printers will be replaced with chisels, hammers, and clay. Our once state-of-the-art production floors will soon resemble 19th-century sculpture studios, complete with busts, marble dust, and an in-house maestro humming classical music.

“The biggest challenge? Shattering years of muscle memory for precision workflows,” admitted Morgan Lima, head of production. “But a sore back from leaning over a potter’s wheel really gives you perspective. The unpredictable lumps and curves that only human hands can produce? That’s real art, folks.”

This decision comes after recent studies that reportedly concluded that customers prefer the flawed charm of manually sculpted objects to the sterile perfection of digital fabrication. While some might question our motives, we believe this is a groundbreaking step toward reintroducing chaos into the tech-dominated world of manufacturing.

Our software engineers will now train full-time as stonemasons, dyeing specialists, and papier-mâché artisans. Meanwhile, our pre-existing material library will evolve to include artisanal options like “Reclaimed Wood Splinters” and “Petit Déjeuner Plaster à la Croissant Crumbs.”

“We’re especially thrilled about this shift,” declared Nicolas Mathian, head of marketing. “Our new tagline, ‘Sculpteo… Sculpted by Hand,’ is sure to resonate with customers longing for a vintage artisan aesthetic. Everyone loves a good back-to-basics story.”

We also hear your concerns loud and clear. Yes, lead times may increase slightly (by which we mean “dramatically”), and achieving identical outputs may now require decades of apprenticeship under a master sculptor. But isn’t waiting half a century for your custom part worth the emotional resonance of knowing a real human wept over its creation?

Should you have any questions about this daring transition, or if you’d like to pre-order one of our new handcrafted masterpieces, don’t hesitate to contact us. Thank you for your understanding during this exciting period in our company’s history.

“Gotcha! Happy April Fool’s Day! We hope you enjoyed our little joke. Rest assured, Sculpteo is not changing its core business activity. We’re as committed as ever to providing the best 3d printing service for your taylored industrial need. Thanks for playing along, and we promise to stick to what we do best!”